• The Gift of Our Work

    Sometimes, we forget how much work we have done to get to where we are today. On a regular basis, I need to remind myself how far I have come, especially when I am reminded of the ways that I fell short in the past. Regret is a hopeless word. It feels heavy with guilt, […]


  • Nothing to Prove or Protect

    I’ve been posting blogs for several years on this WordPress site. I confess most of what I wrote early on was anonymous and is now set to private. This blog was initially an assignment given by my therapist to help me find my voice and connect with others. It has indeed played a big part […]


  • Love was Never the Problem

    love was never the problem. The lack of love always was.


  • I Was Manipulated

    I was manipulated by a pastor. This confession makes me feel weak and just plain stupid. I don’t imagine most of us feel good about being deceived. The truth is I am not stupid or easily deceived. I have always been a suspicious person by nature. I am also really nosey. Just ask my kids […]


  • Following the Truth

    Maybe faith isn’t about certainty, but learning to ask – and sit in the complexity of – good questions. This post was circulating on my Facebook feed last week. It caused me to sit with the complex question and wonder what is my faith really based on? Is it based on what others have taught […]


  • Self-discovery Through Deconstruction

    I tried to defeat the church in my own mind and see what kind of person was left behind. Allen, Under the Banner of Heaven *Spoiler Alert* Recently, my husband and I finished watching the Fox series Under the Banner of Heaven. The series is based on actual events around the brutal murders of Brenda […]


  • You Deserve to Feel Good Again

    “So I won’t just go . . . crazy . . . if I forgive myself?” “No, I am certain that you will not. Your brain and life lessons won’t go anywhere. You’ll just feel good again. Don’t you deserve that?” She nodded. “I think I do.” Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your […]


  • The Courage it Takes to Love

    The very fact that we are still seeking love after toxicity tells me how powerful a force it is that it is able to break through and let us know that we deserve it and that our children deserve it.