There is a Crack in Everything

There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
That’s how the light gets in…

And shines through!

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what
Has passed away
Or what is yet to be….

Ring the bells (ring the bells) that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
That’s how the light gets in

Leonard Cohen – Anthem Lyrics

Today is the beginning of something new for me.

After two years of being home in an environment that for the most part I’ve been able to control,  I am going to work at a part-time job.

It’s crazy the fears that bombard one’s  mind when we begin something new. I read in an article that talked about how starting a new job caused our brains light up like a Christmas tree; that that’s just what our brains do when we face the unknown; it’s normal.

This job is definitely unknown for me.  I’ve not even interviewed with anyone at the place where I’ll be working,  only at the staffing place where I was hired.  I don’t know what my boss will look like or expect. I don’t know if my coworkers will be kind.  I’ll be walking into a room full of strangers in a place I have never seen. 

My biggest fear is of rejection and that I’ll screw something up so bad that I’ll get fired and feel like a failure the rest of my life. 

As I wrote down these fears this morning,  as an article advised those who are starting something new, I recognized how irrational they actually were, and I was relieved.

The truth sets us free…

Even after all that’s happened, for the most part others have accepted me and forgiven how I’ve fallen short.   Only when I exposed the secrets that I’d been keeping about the relationship with my former pastor, did I feel rejected, but I suspect that was more my own shock and shame than anything else.

One of the hardest things for me to overcome has been knowing how much I hurt others, but that time is past, the secrets have been told, and as far as my new coworkers are concerned the slate is clean. 

And most importantly where God is concerned,  the slate is clean, too. 

And the truth is, we all make mistakes, let each other down.  We in the human race are all in this same boat together.

There is a crack in everything…

The other fear I have is of messing it up so bad I’ll get fired.  Once again my history reveals that I haven’t been fired once, and the loss of my previous job wasn’t because of job performance,  but because I’d told the truth.  I’ve always been able to get my work done and perform as well as others around me,  so I think this fear is unfounded,  too. 

Things are usually never as bad as they seem…

I’ve been reminded this morning as I’ve worked through my fears, that God says that real hope is unseen.  It’s not something I can see to control, but God promises it is here with us and it is good. 

Faith isn’t something I can wrap my hands around either,  but like the wind it blows into our lives and changes everything.  

Today,  as I embark on this new journey weak and afraid, I’m encouraged that this is a time in my life that I can really see God work,  because I am totally dependent on Him in these circumstances  to see me through.

There is a time for everything…and today is a today I pray God will make all things new.

As much as I wish God would take away this fear, I recognize I am in the same place many others before me have been and many others are today.  

But thank God in His kingdom it’s through our weaknesses that we shine for Him the most! 

There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
That’s how the light gets in

And shines through!

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:8‭-‬9 NLT

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