Confronting Sin

I have been reading the book War of Words By Paul Tripp.  I thought this was an extremely helpful tool whenever we are confronting others. 

Model of confrontation that uses the word ENCOURAGE as an acrostic.

E: Examine your heart. Confrontation always begins with you. Because we all struggle with indwelling sin, we must begin with ourselves. We must be sure that we have dealt with our anger, impatience, self-righteousness, and bitterness. When we start with our own confession, we are in a much better place to lead another to confess.

N:  Note your calling. Remember that confrontation is not based on your opinion of the person. You are there as an ambassador and your job is to faithfully represent the message of the King. In other words, your goal is to help people see and accept God’s view of them.

C:  Check your attitude. When you speak, are your words spoken in kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, forbearance, compassion, and love? Failure to do this will hinder God-honoring, change-producing confrontation. We need to examine both our message and our attitude as we speak.

0:  Own your own faults. It is vital to enter moments of confrontation with a humble recognition of who we really are. As we admit our own need for the Lord’s forgiveness, we are able to be patient and forgiving with the one to whom God has called us to minister.

U:  Use words wisely. Effective confrontation demands preparation, particularly of our words. We need to ask God to help us use words that carry his message, not get in the way of it.

R:  Reflect on Scripture. The content of confrontation is always the Bible. It guides what we say and how we say it. We should enter moments of confrontation with a specific understanding of what Scripture says about the issues at hand. This means more than citing proof texts; it means understanding how the themes, principles, perspectives, and commands of Scripture shape the way we think about the issues before us.

A:  Always be prepared to listen. The best, most effective confrontation is interactive. We need to give the person an opportunity to talk, since we cannot look into his heart or read his mind. We need to welcome his questions and look for signs that he is seeing the things he needs to see. We need to listen for true confession and the commitment to specific acts of repentance. As we listen, we will learn where we are in the confrontation process.

G:  Grant time for a response. We must give the Holy Spirit time to work. There is nothing in Scripture that promises that if we do our confrontation work well, the person will confess and repent in one sitting. Rather, the Bible teaches us that change is usually a process. We need to model the same patience God has granted us. This patience does not compromise God’s work of change, but flows out of a commitment to it.

E:  Encourage the person with the gospel. It is the awesome grace of God, his boundless love, and his ever-present help that give us a reason to turn from our sin. Scripture says that it is the kindness of God that leads people to repentance (Rom. 2:4). The truths of the gospel—both its challenge and its comfort—must color our confrontation.

6 thoughts on “Confronting Sin

  1. Oh wow… God has been using posts like yours to prepare me for a sit down with someone all week, Liz… I’ve been praying for wisdom and for the words I’ll eventually use, and this really hit the nail on the head.
    Thank you, thank you, and a hundred hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so so glad it helped. I am praying God would help me deal with others using this as a guide. It’s just so much easier to point fingers than it is to lovingly confront…And it hurts everyone involved when we don’t. Praying God gives you His peace and grace as you deal with whatever it is. It’s a true representation of the love of Christ when we are able to sit down with one another in the body of Christ and just be honest, but it’s also hard work! Thanks for sharing. It’s an encouragement to me!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for passing it along! It’s a tremendous message that I know will bring real healing and help. God bless and I hope you have a great day as well!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post! I love ‘C’ – to check your attitude, and speak your words in kindness. Can you imagine what a different world it would be if people heeded this advice. So great! For me, the struggle is to deal with conflict at all. I am still prone to just let people get away with treating me badly, especially my father. I do not handle conflict well. I retreat, and avoid. It does not feel safe. But I know this is not God’s way. He is the God of restoration. I am learning, bit by bit. This is still an area I need to grow in.

    Liked by 1 person

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