Six years ago the lights went out for me. Darkness, fear and disillusionment seemed to be all that was ahead. Everything I had once believed about God, others, and even myself felt like a lie. I no longer wanted to live on the earth.
Winston Churchill said, When you are going through hell keep going. Thankfully, I had others in my life who walked beside me on this dark journey. I would not have survived without my family, my counselor, and a few others who would read my emails and listen with empathy, validation and affirmation and pray for me when I asked. These people were the hands and feet of Christ who never gave up on me.
There were others in my life who didn’t know what to do with my pain. Some were disillusioned. Some judged. Some tried to tell me everything would be fine if I would just…You can fill in the blank I’m sure. Most of us have experienced what it feels like to have someone try to fix us.
For six years I tried to attend church. I was able to go for a while to a few places. But then someone would sing a song. Or say something in a sermon. And for much of the next week, I could not turn my brain off. Traumatic memories played on a loop in my brain, and I was unable to find the stop button. When I talked to others at church who did not understand what was happening, I was encouraged to just keep trying. This caused even more damage.
However, when I talked to those who understood, I experienced relief. Having these people in my life taught me that it really was OK for me to be kind to myself. Even though I still haven’t been able to return to church, these people have been my church. Through my relationships with them, I have learned to trust others, myself and even God again.
Last year I enrolled in a trauma coaching class online. The education I received through the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaches (IAOTRC) has helped me to understand the ways trauma has impacted my brain, my choices, my relationships and even my faith. What I have learned has enabled me to experience relief from the lies I have believed about myself and the heavy weight of shame. I still have difficult days, but what’s different now is I understand why, and I know that I am not alone.
I recently received my certification as a trauma recovery coach and am offering a free 30 minute discovery session for those who are interested. Please reach out via email if you believe my services would be helpful to you. Prices for services are subject to change, and at this time are currently $50 per 50 minute Zoom session.
As coaches we are guides, teachers and mentors. We come alongside as peer support to our clients. We provide a safe space for healthy relationships. We help our clients discover and set goals as they map out a path that brings them closer to leading the life they want to live.
As trauma recovery coaches, we provide education about trauma and recovery. We share our personal experiences to let our clients know they are not alone in what they are facing. We help our clients identify the primary lies/core beliefs that they were taught by their abuser or enabler. We help them to define new, healthy truths/beliefs about themselves, others and the world. We walk with them through the process allowing them to set the pace. We celebrate all the victories along the way!
What Coaches do NOT do:
We do not treat or diagnose our client’s mental health. We do not prescribe medication or give advice about any medications. As trauma recovery coaches, we do not “process” trauma with our clients. Our primary focus is upon helping our clients function in their present day lives. We do not work with clients who are at risk of harming themselves or others or who are in active addiction. We do not work outside of our scope of competence.
To keep the heart space open, we almost all need some healing in regard to our accumulated hurts from the past. It also helps to be in nourishing relationship with people, so that others can love us and touch us at deeper levels, and so we can touch them. Richard Rohr